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Home Forum Not trying, not preventing Not on birth control, not sure I really want to get pregnant

Not on birth control, not sure I really want to get pregnant
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2:53 pm
February 4, 2012


Burger

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I've been on the pill for five years and it was time to stop for various reasons. My doctor thoughts so too. I'm happy I did it because I lost a lot of weight since quitting. My long term partner and I talked it over and basically decided to take it easy and not use another form of contraception. It's been like that for four months now and I have to say that I am kind of relieved every time I am not pregnant. The thought of having a baby that you will have to look after basically for the rest of your life is making me panic a little. What if I will suck at this whole thing?

I talked to my sister about it and she said everyone feels like that before they have kids. She has three herself and she freaks out every time she gets pregnant, even though she was trying to get pregnant. But I am really not sure, and thinking about bringing condoms up with my partner.

Does anyone else feel like this?

6:29 pm
February 6, 2012


Olivia

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Hi,

Welcome to the forum, and to the scary world of TTC :). I think your sister is quite right that most people feel some ambivalence or fear when they start trying to get pregnant, or when they find out when they are pregnant. The same thing may happen when your kid starts school, or when your kid starts being interested in romantic relationships… and so on, and so forth. Having a child is a huge responsibility. It requires, I think, a big leap of faith. And then we just have to plug on and do the best we can. We never know the outcome in advance, and we've never been as invested in a good outcome before. 

That kind of fear basically takes care of itself. When you are thrown into the deep end, you haven't got much of a choice but to swim. That kind of fear is natural, and will work itself out through practice, until we reach the next Big Difficulty. 

But your fear could also be caused by a genuine feeling that you do not want a baby (at the moment). If that is the case, you should listen to your innermost voice and get back on birth control, though not the same one by the sounds of it. 

I wish you all the best in finding your way. 

Olivia

5:26 pm
February 16, 2012


Femme

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We got pregnant in basically the same way with a few differences. I'm 14 weeks along now and thrilled that I'm gonna be a parent, but yeah, it's always a bit scary too. Good luck!
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